Nature, Nurture, or Something In Between: The Origins of a Leader

"Are leaders born or made?" It’s a question I’ve been asked more times than I can count—and my answer remains the same: Yes, and yes. While we haven't (yet) identified a single 'leadership gene', every person carries traits that naturally influence others. That said, simply being someone others are drawn to does not make you a leader. The real test? Leading people who don’t think, believe, or operate like you do. Truly strong leaders go beyond surface-level influence; they connect across differences, and that takes more than charisma—it takes skill and intention.

Leadership is Who You Are, Not Just What You Do

Yes, leadership skills can be learned, and yes, these skills will absolutely grow through experience, education, and practice. But the best leaders? It's not what they do—it's about who they are.

Strong leaders build trust, show empathy, listen deeply, and stay open to continuous learning. Leadership isn’t a role or a checklist—it’s a presence. It's how you show up, and more importantly, it's how you make others feel in your presence; seen, heard, and valued.

In today’s world, that presence matters more than ever. According to Gallup’s 2023 report, only 23% of employees are engaged at work. But when employees feel respected, seen, and heard by their leaders, they are 3.5 times more likely to be engaged. That’s not a coincidence—that’s the power of a leader who is capable of making an emotional connection.

The traditional “command-and-control” approach to leadership has become obsolete in today’s healthcare landscape. Modern teams expect more than directives—they seek purpose-driven leaders who lead with empathy and cultivate growth. Effective leadership now hinges on emotional intelligence, psychological safety, and adaptability. At its heart, leadership is about influence, and influence requires understanding. You can’t motivate those you fail to "see" or value. True leaders create environments where creativity thrives, where safety is felt, and each person’s unique contributions are recognized. Because the truth is simple: you can’t lead those who don’t choose to accept what you have to offer.

The Candy Jar Analogy: Leadership and Communication

Imagine leadership communication as a jar filled with 100 pieces of 4 different flavors of candy. Each of these four flavors corresponds to one of the four core personality styles that we all possess in varying proportions. In your candy jar, 60 of those candies represent your favorite flavor, which reflects your primary personality - your natural, instinctive, go-to style. Another 20 pieces represent your secondary personality style, your counterbalance, what you reach for next when you're looking for something different. Fifteen of the 100 pieces are the flavor you’ll choose if nothing else is available; personality styles you recognize in others but don't necessarily resonate with you. And the last 5? They represent a flavor you simply don't like, styles you don’t relate to. Great leaders understand the composition of their jar, AND the composition of their team members' jars.

Marcy Adams's Personality Color Distribution.

As an example; my personality distribution is:

• Green 60%

• Orange 20%

• Gold 15%

• Blue 5%

As a leader, if you mindlessly reach into your candy jar and grab a piece to offer your team member, the probability is that you will grab your favorite type of candy, and you'd be delighted to give it to the recipient. But what if the recipient dislikes that flavor of candy, or worse, what if they actually dislike that flavor of candy? If the recipient doesn't want what you are offering, they will refuse it or discard it, regardless of how sincere your offer was.

Authentic leadership works the same way. It’s not about offering your favorite flavor (default style); instead, it's about giving your followers their favorite flavor, so they are more receptive to receiving it. Strong leaders take the time to know and understand their team members' preferences, values, and communication styles. By doing so, they come to realize each of their employees 'favorite candy', ensuring when they reach into the candy jar to offer them something, it is a piece they will take and actually consume. This leadership is intentional, personal, and designed to connect in a way that truly resonates.

Leadership hinges on two-way dialogue, encompassing both speaking and listening, as well as giving and receiving. It's more than simply sharing the leader's candy jar; it's about recognizing that team members have their own candy jars they want to share as well. A leader must speak with clarity (give) and listen with care (receive), s/he must give in a way that is intentional and individual, while receiving in a way that is empathetic and genuine, creating a space of mutual understanding and trust.

According to the Center for Creative Leadership, 70% of workplace issues are linked to communication failures. A clear signal: how you say something matters as much as what you say. Leading with empathy, openness, and curiosity is not just a skill; it is a behavior that not only communicates but also connects.

In both life and leadership, personality is a steady force shaping our behaviors, emotions, and motivations. Because personality traits are enduring, it can be challenging, though not impossible, to lead in ways that don’t align with one’s authentic self. When there's a disconnect, it often appears inauthentic or unengaged. This is the paradox of leadership: no matter how much training you've had, your personality will inevitably surface. The key is to lead in a way that integrates both your skills and your authentic self.

The most effective leaders lean into the strengths naturally shaped by their authentic personalities. This self-awareness becomes a powerful asset, enabling a leader to appreciate differences and view them as areas of strength within a team, rather than a direct challenge to their authority. Embracing what makes each person unique creates a culture where individuals feel seen, respected, and valued. As leaders create space for authenticity and mutual understanding, they build teams that are stronger, more creative, and more resilient.

Final Takeaway: Leadership Is Deeply Personal

Anyone can lead someone, but it takes a genuine leader, one grounded in both skill and personality, to lead everyone. These leaders show up with authenticity, lead with empathy, and adapt with intention. They communicate clearly, listen with curiosity, and genuinely seek to understand others. What sets them apart isn’t just what they do—it’s who they are. The most effective leaders know that their personality is a leadership tool. And when you lead from that place, your impact isn’t just greater—it’s limitless.

#leadershipisapersonality #simplyputleadership #drmarcyadams